Key West. The Southernmost Point. Home of Duval Street, where you can get anything you want, so long as what you want is alcohol and women naked from the waist up (paint optional depending on the season). My first time there, my friend and I met an arms dealer who took us up to see if we had any interest in purchasing a sub-machine gun, or maybe something smaller and more practical. If only I'd had $600 to my name... opportunities like that don't come around every day, you know.
I learned a valuable lesson that first trip. If you scorn a woman's advances and she accidentally sleeps with her cousin as a result, you will end up having to drive the 22 hours it takes to get back home, alone.
If you do this the night after dancing and drinking at a rave for eight hours, you will get to experience a little cocktail I like to call paralyzation by muscle fatigue, the primary ingredient of which is sitting in the same position in a car for most of a day after strenuous activity, with just a hint of dehydration for flavor. If you're lucky like I always am, you'll experience it in a ghetto at 3am while you try to get gas using only the pedal foot and your driving arm, since everything else will have essentially become dead weight.
If I'd had a camera and the ability to lift an arm above my waist to use it, I would have a great still shot of a gas station attendant wondering if he should call the cops or an ambulance while some guy drags himself by one arm and one leg along the side of his car, looking like the victim of a drive-by. As sort of a last little kick in the balls, I got pulled over by what I can only assume was the most unimportant police officer in the country, who ticketed me for going 10 over on an empty freeway at 3:30 in the morning, while I was less than an hour away from making it home. I would have been angrier, but I got a really wonderful nap in while he filled out his paperwork.
Needless to say, on my next trip down to see my brother, I decided to just move in, rather than have to make the drive back again.
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